love locked down
my love has been standing strong
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I wanna cry and feel like like sleeping tilll I wont woke up forever


i duno why all of sudden i began to miss you..
and for no reason why i couldnt close my eyes in peace. 
i just feel like sleeping and never wake up.

I kept finding reasons to talk to you.
i just cant keep going on...
i wish this was just a dream that is hurting me like reality .

i want to close my eyes , but i kept tearing up..
I thought of changing myself but ... i just cant..

i cant ..

i look myself in the mirror 
and trying to ask myself..

Is that me ?
why?
why do i look like a piece of shit?
why do i look like a dead body standing on its feet?

why i dont recognized myself?
i look so different.. 
I duno who am i anymore..

Im so helpless.,

i cared for you but u seems to like ignored me or you dont even realized it.
i want you back on my side but you are drifting away .
so far away....

im just like a fucking bitch that doesnt know reality!!
im just like a fucking jerk who doesnt know herself

I HATE MYSELF

i cant take your advice of  that im not alone..
 im just alone..




I just miss you..
P.S I LOVE YOU.....

3:19 AM
Yours truly. elyana